The Myth of the Addictive Personality

So many clients tell me, “I have an addictive personality,” as if it’s some uncontrollable force—something outside of them, beyond their power—that determines their fate.

As if their cigarettes, their alcohol, their behaviors, their cravings—whatever it may be—are not something they can ever escape.

The word addiction carries a heavy weight.

It implies they have an affliction, a disease, handed to them by their genetic cards dealt at birth. “This is who I am,” they say.

But the truth is, identity is far bigger and more permanent than a mere habit. And when we tie our sense of self to something like an addiction, we make it that much more difficult—if not impossible—to break free.

With over 20 years of experience as a hypnotherapist, I’ve seen firsthand how those who believe they have an “addictive personality” find it infinitely harder to change. Their belief locks them in place, cementing the idea that there’s no hope for freedom.

The reality is, humans are creatures of habit.

And this idea of an “addictive personality” is nothing more than a myth.

At the core of who we are, we seek pleasure and avoid pain. This is not a flaw; it’s a fundamental survival instinct. For millennia, our brains have been wired to search for pleasure and steer clear of pain to keep us alive.

For 99.999% of our existence, we lived in nature. Survival meant learning to recognize what nourished us and what could harm us. When we came across something that looked like food, we didn’t just eat it without thought. We had to trust our senses—because there were no apps or instructions to guide us.

First, the food had to look appealing. Then, we’d smell it—if it stunk, we wouldn’t go near it. If it passed the smell test, we’d touch it—only if it felt safe would we put it in our mouths. And we’d take a tiny taste, careful not to swallow until we were certain it wouldn’t make us sick.

Our senses guided us through life. But in today’s world, we've lost that deep connection to nature and to our own instincts. Instead, we follow the cues of our parents when we’re young, then our peers as we grow older. If we want to fit in, we gravitate toward what they do. But when everyone has lost their way, it becomes the blind leading the blind.

The influence of advertising and media has only amplified this. Since the 20th century, marketing has shaped our desires, feeding into the urge to conform, to fit in, to do what everyone else is doing. As long as we’ve been human, the drive to belong has been key to survival. But today, it's often that very drive that feeds our unhealthy habits.

Addictive Personality vs. Creature of Habit:

Addictive Personality:

• A fixed identity: “This is who I am.”

• A lifelong affliction, always present.

• Feels powerless to make a change.

Creature of Habit:

• A habit is a learned behavior—and can be unlearned or replaced.

• I have the power to choose a new way. I have agency.

The unconscious mind has one job: to keep us safe.

It will reject anything that threatens us and accept what it believes is nourishing. This is the foundation of hypnotherapy. We work with the natural instinct of the unconscious mind to help it recognize what is truly in our best interest. Show it the truth, and it will protect us, guiding us toward what nourishes, not harms.

I believe that we all exist on a continuum of habits, each with varying degrees of impact on our well-being. At the core of it all is one question: How can I feel better right now?

For some, the answer is to light a cigarette. For others, it’s scrolling through social media, binge-watching Netflix, eating, drinking, gambling, or indulging in any number of distractions.

We all want to feel better, and it’s the habits we form early in life that shape the ways we try to soothe ourselves.

For some, the habit might be crack cocaine in the inner city. For others, it’s powdered cocaine in the suburbs. For many, it’s beer, especially if you come from Irish or German roots. Wine, if you’re Italian or French. For Boomers and younger generations, it might be weed. For Gen Z, it’s TikTok.

The reality is, we are not prisoners of an “addictive personality.” We are creatures of habit, and habits—good or bad—can be learned, unlearned, and replaced.

Schedule a free consultation today to discover how hypnosis can help you quit smoking or vaping and create lasting change.

Andrew Rader, LAc, MS 

415-488-0201